The seven stages of an erg test

The seven stages of an erg test

The erg test. It's a fact of life for most rowers but somehow that doesn't make it any easier. An erg test takes up disproportionate amounts of mental space, becoming a traumatic obsession and turning otherwise level-headed adults into irrational toddlers. Here's how...

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Obsession – when fitness tracking goes too far

Obsession – when fitness tracking goes too far

It's nearly midnight and I should be in bed getting some much-needed sleep. Instead I'm pacing the landing. Not because I'm worried about something or trying to solve a philosophical problem. It's because I need to reach my daily steps target. Yep, I'm one of the many...

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Satan’s penis and other wisdom – a Q&A with Steve Gunn

Satan’s penis and other wisdom – a Q&A with Steve Gunn

I'm sitting on a rowing machine in front of an audience of 20 people and things have got a bit weird. As I reach for the handle I hear a shout. "DON'T TOUCH IT!!! It's Satan's penis!" What's even weirder is that by this point in the evening I don't find this odd....

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A short sermon on sitting the boat – and how not to do it

A short sermon on sitting the boat – and how not to do it

There are a few subjects that get rowers seriously hot under the collar, and sitting the boat - or, more specifically, not sitting the boat - is one of them. For any non-rowers reading this, let me explain quickly: during the warm-up or certain exercises, rowers will...

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Girl on the River presents her Christmas song 2016

Girl on the River presents her Christmas song 2016

What can I say? I may be more Ed Balls than Louise Redknapp. But you asked for a video so here it is. The Girl on the River Christmas song... and dance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EryKEfqd8fY Huge thanks to the fabulous Laura Gale for her amazing choreography and...

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Rowing dude – the real winner of the Iowa caucus

As you're probably aware, I like to keep things non-political at Girl on the River. But I'm going to make an exception when it comes to this week's Iowa caucus. Amidst all the hoo-haa over the defeat of the Trumpster and the rise of Rubio, there was one real winner in...

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The one where I get a black eye at the MRC Christmas party

The one where I get a black eye at the MRC Christmas party

I always knew the Monmouth women were a fierce and fabulous bunch of women. What I didn't realise, even after several years at the club, was quite how fierce and quite how fabulous. Until last week's women's squad Christmas party. This is the event of the year for our...

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Trailer Trash – Girl on the River ‘fesses up

Trailer Trash – Girl on the River ‘fesses up

There comes a point in every rower's life when the Rowing World starts to overlap with the Real World. Specifically, your rowing friends meet your normal friends and your secret life as a weirdo-river-lover is exposed. Is there anything scarier than someone...

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